By Cindy Kelly
A friend took me out for a treat recently. We were enjoying our wine when I sent a text message to another friend, inviting her to join us for a drink. She replied, “Thanks, but I’ve cut mid-week drinks out of my budget, to save money.” She is slightly under-employed, as are many of my friends these days, and knows how much self-discipline is required to keep her head above water. Spending more than you earn is never a good idea, no matter what the size of your paycheck.
For me the decision-making process is different. Discretionary income is a distant memory. Now I have to watch everything, and it is exhausting. Should I buy this over-the-counter medicine to relieve my son’s cough so he can sleep? If I do, I will have to put the laundry detergent back. The window in my son’s bedroom has been broken since we moved here. Anyone else would replace the pane or at least have the landlord fix it. I worry the landlord might decide we are too much trouble, so I avoid calling, and put tape across the crack.

My son is nine years old and grows like a weed. Do I buy him shoes that fit or pay the gas bill with the child support money his father gives me? The kids complain because our thermostat rarely goes above 66 degrees in the winter. I put more blankets on their beds and tell them this was typical when I lived in a chateau in France. Do I buy a gift so my son can participate in the holiday party at Cub Scouts, or do we skip the event? Sometimes we make it work by giving a box of candy or fancy cookies since we can buy that with food stamps.
The poverty guideline set by the federal government for a family of three is $18,530, based on estimated food costs alone. However the cost of food is a small piece of the pie, no pun intended. Larger costs include housing, health care, childcare and transportation. In my case, my housing costs increased exponentially over the past year. We’re lucky to have been relatively healthy and my car runs OK. Childcare isn’t a big deal because of the age of my kids.
Can I afford to give my daughter a ride to that party across town? Or to work? Or even to school? Not unless someone has kindly bought me a tank of gas recently. My ex-husband, who is not the father of either of my children, graciously pays for the mobile phones my daughter and I use. (We have no home phone.) He is certainly not bound to do so, particularly since we have been divorced for two years. Although his income is low, he makes sacrifices in order to fill my gas tank now and then, take my kids out to get a few new clothes every season, or treat us to a meal at a restaurant. Without his assistance, our situation would be far worse.
My daughter has had to skip extracurricular activities because we did not have reliable transportation. Last spring we managed to pay the hefty fee for lifeguard training so she could work at the YMCA.
Now she takes care of most of her personal expenses and has a scooter which she bought and maintains herself. While a scooter is not the best mode of transportation for cold Kansas winters, she makes the most of it when the weather is nice and enjoys the freedom it brings.

“When are you going to learn to drive and get a driver’s license?” My daughter has heard this question over and over. Her cousins and many of her friends have their own cars, provided by their parents or grandparents. A second car is out of the question for us, as is paying more to insure a teen driver. Most of all our little family cannot take the risk of an inexperienced driver using the one vehicle we have. We are one car crash away from having no car at all.

Within that context, any income-generating work seems like a good idea. In my first post, I was hopeful to be employed soon or have enough freelance work that my kids and I can get back to not scrambling every single month to pay bills. I interviewed for a full-time job as a tech writer that looked promising, until I realized the company pays far below the going rate and the work is a real grind. Had I been offered the job, it would have been hard to refuse. The pay would be just enough to disallow SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, the formal name for food stamps) and state health insurance for my children, the hours would be enough that I would need childcare for my youngest, and the company offered no opportunities for advancement. Thankfully they chose not to hire me.
Soon after wrestling with that dilemma, I found a part-time job that pays enough monthly to cover rent and most utilities. I still need freelance work and SNAP to make ends meet, but the job does not create additional expenses. My 9-year-old son is happy that I will still be at home in the mornings to put him on the school bus and in the afternoons when he returns. Every school day as he leaves the house, he says, “I love you! See you in seven to eight hours!”

My 17-year-old daughter is relieved that she can work fewer hours now that she knows I have our basic necessities covered. Working cuts into time she used to spend with her support structure at church and time she could spend studying. Her grades are suffering this year, yet her attitude remains positive. She wants to go to college to study industrial design. I have no idea how that is going to work out, but I do know right now she is getting an education in how the world works as we work together as a family to stay afloat.
Our family is not the only one in this boat. As the current recession draws more people down from the middle-class into poverty, the numbers of people needing help are increasing steadily. For example, a family of three whose annual income was cut by $45,000 since one parent lost his job last year, is fortunate the other parent is still employed. “We’re doing whatever we can to save money. We buy clothes at the thrift store, we see fewer movies and this year my daughter qualifies for reduced-price lunch.” Eventually they may find themselves unable to buy clothes or go to the movies at all, as recovery from the worst recession of modern times is delayed.
States spend an estimated $3 billion to $4 billion every year on basic assistance to needy people. As the recession drains resources and states face large budget shortfalls, domestic programs that help the poor begin to dwindle. “The reality is that people aren’t going to be able to get their basic needs met and that is the bitter, unvarnished truth,” said Alison Eisinger, the executive director of the Seattle/King County Coalition on Homelessness. “And the result, we know, is going to mean more desperation, more fragmentation of households, more homelessness and higher costs for our community.”
If you are curious to know what it is like to be faced with hard decisions that come with lack of resources, consider a thought experiment in poverty. Some of the questions that come up during these experiments include: What compromises are acceptable to you when you’re forced to choose between options for how you spend your time, energy, and money? How are the options limited by your health, your dependents, or your location? What effects does facing these challenges have on your mental state? What if it lasts for more than a month? A year? What if you see no way out?
Over 46 million people in the US were living in poverty in 2010. What if next year, it’s you?
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